Very cliche, I know, but most of us will have had this big question in our heads at a certain time in our lives. (or maybe the same question comes in different forms in different phases of life? ) Whatever it is, you think you know what you want from life, and you are ‘in control’ and along comes this question in an orkut community.. “define love”..and you say oh yes…i know what love is…”true love” as they show in the films…”real love” as you thought you had felt…and you start typing..and you suddenly feel at a loss to explain what you feel about love.
Sometimes you just go …bah!…it’s all crap…just a concept that doesn’t really take form…but then we do need someone in our lives don’t we? Someone to share everything with? Is it not love that bonds us then? Or is it the compelling necessity of companionship that brings us together. Being in love makes you dependent, it makes you vulnerable…is that true??
Of all the answers that were given to that question..one stood out, and was appreciated and applauded by many members of that community. In fact I made friends with that person just because I liked the answer so much. Not that it was a perfect answer..It is very hard to find the kind of love that she has described..and harder to make it work..but if you want an almost complete definition of love, here’s what Anindita Bhattacharya had to say:
To me love is:
You think about yourself, get to know yourself, build yourself up to be so strong that u are confident that u can handle your own life, that u don’t need anyone, that no one can hurt u without ur permission, that you are the master of your own life, and then, u meet someone… who makes u want to surrender all of yourself, without hesitation, when you become ready to lay yourself totally open in front of him/her, all your vulnerabilities, your fears, your dreams, your weaknesses, your wishes and ambitions and principles, things that make you think and feel and wonder and laugh and cry, when the tiniest of his/her unhappiness zoom straight inside your heart, when you feel like bringing the whole world at his/her feet, just to make him/her happy, when you are ready to give him/her all the freedom and right over your life, comfortable in the knowing that the other person is so strong that he/she will honour you, the you that you’ve opened up, & will never take advantage of your openness… will care for you because he/she wants to, not because it’s supposed to be that way, when adjustment doesn’t feel like adjustment, when u willingly make yourself flexible for his/her sake, when the freedom between you makes your relationship stronger, when u both start feeling that u need each other, not because u lack something, but because of how much both of you enjoy being part of one another’s lives, & both of you want to practically take it forward,
That’s love for real.
And I agree with her to quite an extent. I’m not quite “learned” enough to “profess” anything, but yes, i feel love is learning to love yourself, knowing that you are strong enough to survive anything life throws at you, and then finding someone who you don’t mind being vulnerable with, because you trust him/her enough, and you are comfortable enough to shed all ego barriers.
